HIKARU HITACHIIN: User Guide and Manual
by have-a-cookie
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own HIKARU HITACHIIN unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit as possible.


**HIKARU HITACHIIN: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own HIKARU HITACHIIN unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit as possible.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Hikaru Hitachiin. Also responds to "Little Devil" and "Hika-chan"

Age: 16

Place of Manufacture: Tokyo, Japan

Height: 175 cm

Weight: 59 kg

Length: He's not the seme for nothing.

*Note: The HIKARU HITACHIIN and KAORU HITACHIIN units are completely identical, but the best way to distinguish between the two units would be the parts in their hair. The HIKARU HITACHIIN unit parts his hair to the left.

**Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit comes equipped with the following:**

One (1) Ouran Academy uniform

One (1) box of pink hair dye

One (1) box of black hair dye

One (1) Kodak camera

One (1) expensive cell phone complete with friendship package that includes the numbers of the KAORU HITACHIIN and the HARUHI FUJIOKA units.

Three (3) bottles of maple syrup

One (1) box of various spices

One (1) advanced level mathematics book

One (1) advanced level chemistry and/or physics book

Several sketchbooks filled with fashion designs

**Programming**

Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is equipped with the following traits:

Host: Hosting is what your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit was manufactured to do. As a host, your unit will charm unsuspecting ladies with his infamous twincest act where he will play the role of the dominant seme. Fangirls will instantly swarm and phrases such as "so kawaii!" will be heard for miles. Feel free to make a profit from this (though you might have to fight with a KYOYA OOTORI unit if you wish to get any money).

*Note: Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit can only work as a host with a KAORU HITACHIIN unit by his side.

Tutor: Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is quite bright, especially in the fields of math and science. He excels when it comes to numbers and, with enough coaxing, won't mind tutoring you in them. Don't ask for help in your English or art classes though. While your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit isn't stupid, it's the KAORU HITACHIIN unit that is proficient in the humanities classes.

CEO: Though seemingly childish, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is actually quite competent when it comes to the world of business (we like to think it's because he likes money). Need someone to work all the boring parts of a company? The job of a businessman does not strike fear into your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit at all! In fact, he quite enjoys being in a position of power.

Actor: Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is an unsurprisingly talented actor. He is better at portraying more dominant, villainous roles, but can also be sweet and caring. Dazzle movie directors when you bring your very versatile HIKARU HITACHIIN unit and if a KAORU HITACHIIN unit tags along, you can expect to be rolling in money very soon. That is…unless a KYOYA OOTORI unit milks everything the HITACHIIN units are worth.

**Removal of your KAORU HITACHIIN unit from packaging**

Unlike KAORU HITACHIIN units, the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is not so pleased if woken up incorrectly. We've included a few sure-fire ways of waking him up properly:

Method 1: The easiest way of activating your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is firstly activating a KAORU HITACHIIN unit. If a KAORU HITACHIIN unit is woken up prior to a HIKARU HITACHIIN unit, the KAORU HITACHIIN unit will start looking for his brother, calling out his name over and over until he gets a response. The HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will begin banging on his box until he breaks it open. Once he gets out, he will reunite with his brother, and will commence wreaking havoc or tormenting a TAMAKI SUOH unit.

Method 2: Play really loud J-Rock. Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is surprisingly quite the fanboy of the genre, especially bands like: L'arc en Ciel, YUI, GACKT, and Vidoll. Once the music starts, typically your unit will begin to sing along with the music loudly and obnoxiously. At this moment, it's the safest to open the box. He'll continue singing until the song is over and then begin to frantically look for a KAORU HITACHIIN unit.

Method 3: Shout things to the box such as, "Oh Haruhi, that dress is really cute on you!" or "Haruhi, you're inside the house, there's no reason to be wearing only a bikini!" Regardless of whether or not a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit is present, the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will begin clawing his way out of his box, shouting things like, "HARUHI DON'T MOVE!" Once he gets out of his box and sees no HARUHI FUJIOKA unit in sight, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will be slightly disappointed. He'll recover quickly, however, and begin frantically looking for a nearby KAORU HITACHIIN unit.

Method 4: Feel free to sacrifice a TAMAKI SUOH or UMEHITO NEKOZAWA unit. Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit likes to tease and torment both (though, we must admit that sacrificing TAMAKI SUOH units is a lot more enjoyable). Simply take the sacrificed unit and place it near your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit's box. If it is a TAMAKI SUOH unit, allow him to babble for a bit. The obnoxious sound of "Tono's" voice will instantly awaken your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit. He will come out of his box and immediately start berating your TAMAKI SUOH unit, ultimately sending him into his corner. If you happen to sacrifice an UMEHITO NEKOZAWA unit, allow him to mutter some dark incantations or spiteful spells. Your HIKARU HITACHIIIN unit will awaken and begin flashing lights in the UMEHITO NEKOZAWA unit's face, sending him to the darkness. After your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit felt as though he had done enough tormenting, he will begin searching for a KAORU HITACHIIN unit.

**Reprogramming**

Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is reprogrammable with the following modes:

_Brash (default)_

_Mischievous (default)_

_Twincestuous _

_Big Brother_

_Callous_

_Masochistic (locked)_

Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit comes preprogrammed in his _Brash_ and _Mischievous_ modes. In these modes, your unit will often be up to no good and will cause problems for those around him, regardless if a KAORU HITACHIIN unit is around him or not. In these modes, your unit will become jealous very easily, will often act impulsively, and will say things that he does not always mean. In _Brash_ and _Mischievous_ you can expect many pranks to be pulled on both the units and you, the user. We warn you up front to be very cautious of the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit.

In _Twincestuous_, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will partake in a faux romantic relationship with the KAORU HITACHIIN unit. In _Twincestuous_, you can expect your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit to be exceedingly flirty, his speech to be riddled with sexual remarks and innuendos, and to be completely smitten with the KAORU HITACHIIN unit. To get your unit in this mode, simply state that it is now hosting hours or leave him with a KAORU HITACHIIN unit for a long period of time. To get him out of this mode, tell him hosting hours are over, bring a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit over to tell them to 'knock it off,' or quickly remove the KAORU HITACHIIN unit.

In _Big Brother _mode, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will become overprotective of the KAORU HITACHIIN unit. In this mode, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will drop all pretenses of being a snarky, sarcastic bastard and will actually show true compassion towards his brother. This mode can be unlocked if a KAORU HITACHIIN unit is harmed, either physically or emotionally. In _Big Brother_, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will care for the KAROU HITACHIIN unit, and make sure he is safe. Be warned that if you, the user, were the one to cause the KAORU HITACHIIN unit harm, the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will not have any mercy. The love he has for his brother is stronger than the restrain the has to hurt you. To get your unit out of this mode, the KAORU HITACHIIN unit will have to reassure (often multiple times) that he is perfectly fine and that there is no reason to worry.

_Callous_ is probably the mode that you, the user, should be most wary of. In Callous, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will say whatever is on his mind and will not take into consideration the feelings of the person he is speaking to. He's very rude, harsh, and mean in this mode. Unfortunately, this mode is very easy to trigger. All you have to do is say something mean to him, proclaim that he is worthless, or tell him that it's no wonder Haruhi would never go for him. Despite the fact that your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is quite thick-skinned, on the inside he's quite sensitive and will be very hurt by what you say. His only means of defense is to give hurtful comments. He's quite good at pinpointing your weakness, and your feelings will get hurt by what he says. To get him out of _Callous_, simply call upon a nearby _Selfless _KAORU HITACHIIN unit to calm him down.

_Masochistic_ mode is very difficult to get your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit in. This is because he's normally so dominant and self-confident, its hard for him to begin to enjoy pain. The one sure-fire way of getting your unit into _Masochistic_ is to leave him with a RENGE HOUSHAKUJI unit for a few days. When your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit returns, he will be more than willing to find ways to bring pain to himself. He will be purposefully trying to get TAKASHI MORINOZUA, KYOYA OOTORI, and TAMAKI SUOH units in their respected _BAMF_, _Furious_, and _Sadist_ modes. To get your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit out of this mode, simply inflict harm upon a KAORU HITACHIIN unit. Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will instantaneously revert to _Big Brother_.

**Relationships with Other Units**

KAORU HITACHIIN: The KAORU HITACHIIN and HIKARU HITACHIIN units are inseparable. They are brothers, best friends, and have an unbreakable twin connection. It is quite rare to find one without the other, which is why it is highly advised to buy them as a pair. The twins often get into a lot of trouble and mischief, but overall are harmless. These two units rarely fight, and are one of the most compatible set of units in a sense of friendship and bonding.

*Note: Yes, romance is possible between the two units. However, it's going to be a very slow progression and cannot happen if there are any other units present. If there are, the most you can achieve between the two brother units is a very strong bromance and special twin connection. If there are not well…we hope for your sake that you happen to be very kinky.

HARUHI FUJIOKA: Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit cares about the HARUHI FUJIOKA unit very much, and even considers her to be his first real crush. He's very protective of her, and often times his jealousy will spark when it comes to her. Part of the reason he cares about her so much is because she is really the only one who can differentiate between him and a KAORU HITACHIIN unit. While your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit may act rashly when around HARUHI FUJIOKA units, the HARUHI FUJIOKA unit will be able to keep him in line. We are not responsible for any bruises the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit may receive after being slapped.

*Note: A romance between these two units is one of the easiest to achieve so long as no TAMAKI SUOH units are nearby.

TAMAKI SUOH: Your HIKARU HITACHIIN units loves to tease and torment TAMAKI SUOH units, but the reality is that the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit really respects him and is very grateful for him. If it were not for the TAMAKI SUOH unit, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit would still be an isolated jerk who did not care for anyone but himself and his brother. While it may not seem like it, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit would be devastated if anything were to happen to a TAMAKI SUOH unit.

TAKASHI MORINOZUKA: When your HIKARU HITACHIIN and KAORU HITACHIIN units fight, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will turn to a nearby TAKASHI MORINOZUKA unit. The relationship these two units have is quite strange. Most people would not expect their friendship to be as deep or sincere as it is. When your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit cannot express his feelings with his brother, he will talk to a TAKASHI MORINOZUKA unit, who will listen intently to what the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit has to say. TAKASHI MORINOZUKA units often have great advice and know exactly what to say to help the situation. For that, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is very grateful.

**Cleaning**

Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself, though will not mind if you would like to bathe with him.

**Feeding**

Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is partial to Italian foods and maple syrup. Unlike the amiable KAORU HITACHHIN unit, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will throw a fit if he doesn't get his morning pancakes. Make sure he has an ample supply of syrup though, and you will be fine.

**Rest**

Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit likes to stay up late (usually he will be found watching television in the early hours of the morning) but when he does get to sleep, he likes sharing a bed with a KAORU HITACHIIN unit. It's not impossible for them to sleep without each other, but your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will feel very lonely without another body right beside him.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q. Why did my HIKARU HITACHIIN unit suddenly dye his hair black?

A. Your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit is likely trying to discover who he is and is also trying to make himself more of an individual. After he dyes his hair, he likely won't go back to auburn. Don't be alarmed though! It's a good thing that he's finally opening up. Plus, this way you'll always know which one is Hikaru!

Q. Why does Hikaru keep insisting on seeing (Haruhi/me/Kaoru/etc.) in dresses? It's quite discomforting…

A. That's because he thinks that (Haruhi/you/Kaoru/etc.) look very cute in a dress! He'll likely throw a fit if the person in question doesn't wear one, so to pacify him, we suggest that (Haruhi/you/Kaoru/etc.) just wear the dress and get it over with.

Q. Is my unit going to go deaf? He's listening to his music so loud!

A. No. It's impossible for the HIKARU HITACHIIN unit (or any unit in our Ouran series) to develop any kind of permanent medical complication. If the loud music bothers you, grab a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit and make her tell your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit to keep it down. He'll likely do what she says. If not, invest in getting your unit's room soundproofed.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: My unit keeps insisting he's Kaoru!

Solution: It's likely if your unit insists he's Kaoru, he probably messed up the part in his hair. If the unit is alone, listen to his voice. All HIKARU HITACHIIN units have a lower pitched voice than the KAORU HITACHIIN units. If your unit is with his other half, grab a nearby HAURHI FUJIOKA unit; she'll know which is which.

Problem: When I opened the box, a boy with a really ugly bowl-cut was there instead of my Hikaru unit!

Solution: Our apologies, but it seems as though we have sent you a middleschool!Hikaru unit by mistake. As a middle school student, your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will be very isolated, meaner than usual, and probably won't respond to 'Hikaru.' He will not be willing to comply with anything you say and will overall be incredibly moody. We understand if you wish to send him back at the soonest moment possible.

**End Notes**

Out of the two twins, you picked the more difficult one to deal with, but not to fret! With a lot of love and attention, you and your HIKARU HITACHIIN unit will definitely become the best of friends in no time at all!

Good luck!


End file.
